Reflections on a Simple Past | 05

The last 15 years have brought a realisation that my relationship with the outdoors is essential. Nature both roots us and grounds us, at its heart, a ceaseless cycle of past, present, and future.

In this series, I look back at some of the people, places and things which have so richly influenced and inspired my love of all things simple.

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In many respects, I had what we might call an ‘outdoorsy’ childhood. There were far fewer indoor distractions than there are now. No computers, no internet, and no mobile phones. I was never particularly interested in the television, excepting a few favourite programmes, and I wasn’t in to video games or consoles. When I look back at those childhood times of the 1980s and early 90s, I feel very lucky. I was richly blessed with many experiences which are a far cry from our modern, fast-paced and technology-driven world. We were comfortably off, not poor, but not rich, yet abundantly blessed with an appreciation for life’s simple pleasures.

When we talk about living slowly, simply, and seasonally, we can’t help but begin by thinking about the wonderful outdoor places, even those oases in big cities, which offer us such freedom to explore and experience. When I look back, I realise that so much of family life was geared around the outdoors, whether it was holidays, days out, or simply time in the garden at home.

River Manifold, Dovedale.

We also know how easy it is to become disconnected from those things of our childhood which were so important to us. In my teenage years and for much of my 20s, I retreated indoors without giving a second thought to the life I’d had previously. Perhaps being indoors, where I could create my own artificial cocoon, was simply a sticking plaster. At best, it was a safety net, that somehow, life would be so much easier if the world outside could be ignored. When I look back, I realise that those indoors years simply brought a multitude of other unwelcome complications. You can never truly hide from the outside world.

Eventually, those indoors years broke me. A sudden realisation hit me like a ton of bricks, that ironically, in my indoors existence, I was always found myself on the outside looking in. If you’ve ever experienced any sort a mental health breakdown, diagnosed or not, you’ll know what a strange experience it is. Suddenly, you’re faced head on with the reality that everything you thought brought safety and security, was merely a mask. The mask has dropped, and everything is laid raw.

Matlock Bath from Starkholmes, Derbyshire.

I can still very vividly remember that time, 15 years ago, but in the midst of that crushing darkness, there was an overwhelming sense that I needed to be outdoors. I can well remember that feeling of simply needing to escape the confines of four walls, to simply stand in the shadow of something greater. In that moment of despair and loss, I found myself. There was no quick fix, but it was the start of a journey, one which I’m still on today. Sometimes, it’s a journey of striding forwards with confidence, other times, it’s a journey of stumbling and hesitation. When I started this Substack, I wrote the following, and I hope this still rings true:

‘Just as I continue on this journey of discovery, I’m excited to see what the future brings, and how together, as a community, we can rediscover, reconnect and re-emerge.’

The last 15 years have brought a realisation that my relationship with the outdoors is essential and non-negotiable. It grounds me, and it roots me in something greater. These are all things I unknowingly felt and experienced as a child, but which were sapped out of me in adulthood. There is so much beauty to be found outdoors - glorious flowers, stunning landscapes, and breathtaking views - but the outdoors is about so much more than that. It offers us feelings and experiences we could never put into words. It offers us a connection to something greater, something deeply rooted in our rich tapestry of history. At its heart, is a ceaseless cycle of past, present, and future.

Carsington Water, Derbyshire.

Poet, Walt Whitman, considered nature to be the ultimate uniting factor between all humans, and in his poem, Darest thou now O soul, seems to so evocatively capture our journey through life, with its rich tapestry of experiences:

Darest thou now O soul,
Walk out with me toward the unknown region,
Where neither ground is for the feet nor any path to follow?
No map there, nor guide,
Nor voice sounding, nor touch of human hand,
Nor face with blooming flesh, nor lips, nor eyes, are in that land.

I know it not O soul,
Nor dost thou, all is a blank before us,
All waits undream'd of in that region, that inaccessible land.

Till when the ties loosen,
All but the ties eternal, Time and Space,
Nor darkness, gravitation, sense, nor any bounds bounding us.

Then we burst forth, we float,
In Time and Space O soul, prepared for them,
Equal, equipt at last, (O joy! O fruit of all!) them to fulfil O soul.

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