Beyond the Notes | 13. Tears Through the Years
One of the simplest, yet deeply poignant and heart-wrenching emotions of the human soul, tears can fall for loss and gain. We have cried before and will cry again; but perhaps there's comfort in that.
Welcome to Rediscover · Reconnect · Re-Emerge. If you find the fleeting changes of modern life wearisome, maybe even overwhelming, join me on a journey, a path well-trodden, as I share heartfelt and often nostalgic reflections on living slowly, simply, and in tune with the seasons.
In this series, I share some of the pieces of music which have meant the most to me in my life, and the stories behind why they resonate so strongly within a life lived slowly and simply.
Tears.
One of the simplest, yet deeply poignant and heart-wrenching emotions of the human soul. Whether they’re tears of joy or tears of deep sadness, we’ve all been there, and we will do so again.
In a world of great change, perhaps our tears bring us comfort. They were there at the beginning and they will almost certainly be there at the end. We have cried before and will cry again.
We live in a world now which is, perhaps, more accepting of us showing our emotions. In days gone by, we might have put on a brave face, bitten our lips, and remained ever-watery-eyed. It is, of course, a deeply British thing to hide our real feelings - stiff upper lip and all that. Times have changed, and whilst it’s certainly not universal, we are more open in our conversations surrounding health, mental health, wellbeing, death, and grief. There is still a long journey ahead to travel, but perhaps our tears flow a little more freely alongside us.
But why tears? Why a whole post about tears?
Honestly? I don’t know. Sometimes, these topics simply come to me. I sometimes worry that they don’t really link to anything connected with slow, simple and seasonal living, yet perhaps, authenticity, and the honesty which sits alongside that, is one of the values on which all three of those things find a firm foundation.
On the maternal side, I come from a family of tears. They appear at almost any opportunity, often for no reason. Sometimes they’re tears of joy, sometimes tears of sadness, but often, simply those watery, misty-eyes of nostalgia.
I used to affectionally refer to this phenomenon as ‘Noah-ing’. Noah, who built the ark in order to survive the flood, probably cried himself, but the swelling waters in which he sailed, seem to perfectly capture this family trait of tears.
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Is it good to cry?
It seems an odd question really. In many ways, it’s beyond our control. Sometimes the tears flow when we least expect it, and least desire it. In some of the darkest moments on my own life’s journey (and I’ve written a little bit more about that here), I have craved the tears which somehow wouldn’t come. Last month, I wrote about Dame Cicely Saunders, pioneer of the modern hospice movement, and pondering the same question, she said:
“It’s very important to cry, for some things are very worth crying about.”
Tears can fall for loss and gain, in sadness and jubilation. It’s a skill which perhaps us British are late learning.
Our tears are stirred by emotion, and that emotion can come from many a different source. How often do we cry over a good film or television series? Perhaps we shed a tear over a happy ending in a book we’ve enjoyed? Perhaps a theatre or dance performance moves us to tears?
This post really began with a piece of music, and it started with a question which I pondered to myself: which pieces of music move me to tears?
There aren’t many, but there is certainly one, and it’s the 3rd movement of Vaughan Williams’ Symphony No. 5, the ‘Romanza’. Composed between 1938 and 1943, the movement is prefaced by this quote from John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress:
Upon that place there stood a cross
And a little below a sepulchre … Then he said
"He hath given me rest by his sorrow and
Life by his death”
I invite you to listen from about two minutes in. Perhaps it’s that it’s so evocative of this particular time in history? Perhaps it evokes loss? Lost time, lost places, and lost people. It tugs at my heart-strings in a way other music doesn’t.
Whether the tears flow for you or not, we cannot escape the emotions which sit deep within our beings. Whether through loss or gain, one day, the tears will flow. None of us really understands what it is which brings them to the surface, but perhaps there is beauty in that; emotion its most natural and spontaneous form. Whether an elegy for loss, or an hopeful exultation for what is to come, the tears which come, will soon go, but in that transient moment, we find ourselves rooted in time and place, in the past, present and future. We cry now as others cried before.
The tears will come.
The tears will flow.
But there is always light after darkness.
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Oh I love it, so good that you are writing about tears. So important and so denied at times. I cry often and it releaves, acknowledges, comforts, tells stories, adds emotion.
Also, I also cry when a good book ends, because I know I won’t be able to read it for the first time again.
Noah-ing. A perfect description of the effect. A post about tears is incredibly interesting, because it is one of those things we experience that just happens, and generally we don't give it a second thought. But the automatic response to emotion, and our response on whether to stem the tears or let them flow- profoundly fascinating. Thanks for giving me something to chew on awhile.